Hi all!
I’ve transferred my blog to http://datinga57war.wordpress.com/ so please start going there for your nerdy entertainment. Thanks so much for reading!!
I thought that this summer’s mass amount of comic book movies would mean lots of good times for me and my nerd. There’s no denying that comic books are nerdy, but these movies make them pretty awesome. I mean, after last summer, who doesn’t think Iron Man kicks ass?
So I thought I’d give the nerd a nice surprise and take him to a movie he would love: Green Lantern (his favorite superhero and the inspiration for my blog wallpaper). I made a big mistake. While I thought it was a pretty cool movie, he was quite gloomy about it. A couple of times throughout the movie I heard an exasperated whisper, “That’s not how it happens. Come on! Green Lantern would never say that.” By the time we left, he had taken on a look of silent desperation. I timidly asked how he liked the movie, shocked by his lack of enthusiasm. I might as well have asked him about his dead dog. He was so dejected, “comic book movies are always depressing because they never have the proper storyline, hire appropriate actors or portray the hero’s powers accurately. It’s like they wrote a new story and thought they would get more people to see it by dressing the main character like Green Lantern.” We got home and I, still very confused as to how a movie about his favorite superhero had left him depressed, suggested we play a video game. He mumbled something about “alone time” and “the real Green Lantern” and went to commiserate the movie fail with his comic books.
Once you’ve been dating a nerd for a while you learn that there is no such thing as a simple question. “Yes” or “no” answers simply do not exist to them. My Aunt learned this the hard way when she asked the would-be-simple-question, “Is this the best Easter you’ve ever had?” Did my nerd respond with the expected, “of course”? No. He went with, “I can’t say for sure. I don’t remember every single Easter I’ve had. I could have had an awesome one when I was two and then I would be lying if I said yes.” Trying to explain to him that no one really cared whether him saying “yes” was a lie or not was like trying to teach him a new game in Japanese. The idea that we all didn’t want the exact truth was mind boggling to him. Though I digress, the matter of “The Truth” deserves it’s own blog post for sure. This is about the need to address every question with the intense analysis and consideration appropriate only in life-changing situations. “What do you want for dinner” and “Do you want to go to a movie tonight?” are not such situations. I truly was not prepared for the intense round of follow-up questions and analysis that came along with, “Do you want to go to a movie tonight?’ After thirty minutes, I was half expecting a chart of all our other options and the percentage of happiness associated with them versus the amount of effort needed to do them.
I think maybe I’ll start using him as my secret weapon at parties. If I want to get out of a conversation, I’ll just call the nerd over and ask him a question. Then I can slip away while the unsuspecting person listens to an intense breakdown of why pizza should include BOTH mozzarella and cheddar cheese.
I know it’s been a long time; I apologize and promise to do better. This weekend’s events, along with all the press I’ve been getting from my cousin, have given me the motivation to start blogging again.
I am thrilled to announce that me and My Nerd are officially engaged. And how did he propose do you ask? Did he stick the ring in some form of goopy dessert or plaster the question on a jumbotron? No. He did it in a way that was definitely uniquely his. I mean really, how many people do you know that have used a PS3 to propose? Or rather, how many people do you know that have used a PS3 to successfully propose? Well My Nerd got it right. He contacted the company that created my favorite game (Pixel Junk Monsters) and asked them to create a special level for us. While that was impossible, I appreciate the thought. However, he was able to get them to create a video for me. I was under the impression that we were playing a new level but when it started, the characters (which I lovingly call “the babies”) were in the middle of the screen and flipped up signs that said, “Will you marry me?” A proposal that I’m pretty sure is the epitome of Nerdiness, and the perfect one for us.
Last night my boyfriend and his roommate threw a party, though I use that term pretty loosely. I was thrilled when he told me about it because it’s usually such a challenge to drag either of them away from their computers. I figured I’d help out by making a shopping list (1. Liquor, 2. Jello, 3.F, 3.Beer) and calling my friends.ood
I should have known this wouldn’t be a typical party, but I was definitely surprised when my nerd told me the shopping list was unnecessary and inviting my friends wouldn’t be a good idea. Turns out, their big social event consisted of 15 grad students sitting around talking about philosophy while The Killers and Everclear played quietly in the background. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have a problem with this kind of social interaction. I love hanging out and playing board games on the occasional Saturday night. The mind-blowing aspect of this event is that it was actually labeled a “party” and was the most social interaction about 90% of the attendees had gotten all semester.
A few partygoers did drink some wine, however and, when they got really wild and crazy, used black light paint to draw on the walls. I know this is where you start thinking, “Not bad, maybe nerds can party.” I assure you, that is incorrect. They did not paint their names, dirty drawings or song lyrics. No, their idea of rebellious fun was to paint philosophical quotes in Old English and Greek.
I’m hoping to at least get liquor introduced at the next “party.”
I just got back from a relaxing break from school. I went shopping, read some books and hung out with friends. My boyfriend spent his break in a significantly different manner. He got into a pretty heated debate with his roommate (one of the many that I will never understand the importance of) about who was best suited to determine what makes a good ham sandwich. My boyfriend only eats two things, ham sandwiches and chicken burritos and believes that because of this, he’s become an expert on what makes them great. His roommate however, feels that since he eats a large variety of foods, he knows more about flavors in general. Which makes him the food expert on everything, including ham sandwiches.
After this argument had come up on several occasions, the two decided to write a paper on it. So they did. Over break. I was drinking margaritas by the pool while my boyfriend was holed up in the house writing a paper, “just for fun.”
I’m still trying to figure out how to work this to my advantage. But a guy that writes papers for fun must get some pleasure out of other painful tasks like doing the bills or mowing the lawn, right?
So me, the nerd and his roommate (also a nerd) decided to play a board game last weekend. You should know that if you plan to play a strategic board game with a nerd, (and let’s face it, that’s probably the only type of board game you’ll be able to get them to play. No Taboo for this crowd) you must be prepared to devote you’re entire evening to one game. I probably could have made cookies in the time it took to get through one round. They analyzed each possible outcome of a move with an intense scrutiny that should be reserved only for major life decisions. “Honey, should we have a baby?” should warrant this type of time and consideration. Regular turns were slow, but when trades were offered, the term “like watching paint dry” took on a whole new meaning for me. Fifteen to twenty minute bargaining sessions about how many sheep were worth one piece of ore were not uncommon. But, the longest part of the game wasn’t actually even part of the game. What the boys fondly call “the post game analysis” involved the two of them going back through every move of the game, explaining their thought process and offering critiques. When I tried to point out that the game was over so this was therefore, a waste of time, they claimed it helps them learn. I sometimes feel that I’ve entered another world when I walk into that apartment.
Just an example of what I deal with every day. The conversation quickly went from my friend sympathizing with my previous blog post to both our nerds arguing about who plays a better online video game.
If you date a nerd, be prepared for online video games to become a large part of your life. They are an inevitable part of any nerdy relationship. The sooner you accept this, the less likely you will be to lash out at the nerd when you are ignored in favor of the games. Because trust me, you will be. See, these online games do not have a pause button. Which means that once a game is started, he cannot (will not) stop playing until it is over, no matter what. I once made the mistake of suggesting that he just let himself die because we were running late for a dinner reservation. He looked like he was questioning my sanity while he lectured me, “I can’t quit. I have a responsibility to the other players. I agreed to play a game with them for this period of time and if I leave, they’ll all die as well.” Well, he’d also agreed to take me to dinner at 7:30, but apparently that was not the same thing. I should have realized then how much of an effect this would have on our relationship. See, he plays this game several times a day and I’m beginning to feel like half our conversations end with “I have a responsibility to these players.”
“Can you help me open this?” “I have a responsibility to these players.”
“Want to watch a movie?” “I have a responsibility to these players.”
“Let’s make out.” “I have a responsibility to these players.”
“It’s time for your roommate’s surprise party.” “I have a responsibility to these players.”
I’m pretty sure that, short of lighting myself on fire right behind him, there is nothing I could do to get him to even turn around after he’s started a game. At least I know he takes commitment seriously.
So let me preface this post by saying that being a nerd doesn’t just involve playing a lot of video games; it’s a mindset. A mindset that means he, not only thinks of things that aren’t even on normal people’s radars (at the most bizarre times, I might add), he usually overanalyzes every insignificant detail about them.
For example, we went to bed last night, as in Valentine’s Day Eve, and my thoughts were on Valentine’s Day like things. I leaned over and coyly asked, “Whatcha thinking about, Baby?” His response? Not quite the loving, romantic one that’s to be expected in this situation: “The hallway light.”
“Umm… what?”
“Well, I think it’s interesting. I NEVER use it. I feel that the combination of the lights from the bedrooms and the kitchen sufficiently lights the hallway; making that light unnecessary. But my roommate always uses it. I wonder if it actually offers any real benefit…”
That’s right, not only is this what he’s thinking about as we lay in bed, he actually does believe it to be interesting and worth serious analysis. He trailed on for what seemed like days (to be fair, it was probably only several minutes) about the possibilities of wasted electricity versus slightly improved lighting. Why anyone would notice, let alone care about, the differences in light usage between them and their roommate is beyond me. But, maybe that’s a good thing? Maybe, it’s these little moments of utter incomprehension that keep our relationship exciting. That’s what I’m going to keep telling myself anyway.